It is high time that Indian judiciary warmed up to the idea of shared parenting. In recent years India has not only become a safe haven for child abductions from abroad but as the rates of divorce have skyrocketed more and more moms are not only making children fatherless by abducting them but also gaining sole custody in keeping with age old indian custody laws (which do not even allow for joint custody unless the parents themselves request for it).
Mr Kumar Jagirdhar, the ex-husband of cricketer Anil Kumble’s wife Chetana, is now batting for dads who are deprived of the love of their children. He has decided to launch an organisation named Child Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting after feeling sad at only being given rights to “visit” his daughter by the courts. Over 200 fathers, including professionals from various sectors, have joined hands with him to form CRISP, which will be officially launched on June 12.
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IT IS NOW THE TURN OF FATHERS TO CLAIM THE RIGHTS TO BRING UP THEIR CHILDREN
Bengaluru, June 8: It is now the turn of the father to claim the
rights to bring up his children. Over 200 fathers, including Chetana
Kumble’s ex-husband Kumar Jahgirdar, software professional Gaurav
Nigam and hundreds of other professionals have come together to form
`CRISP’ — Child Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting. Upholding the
mantra of shared parenting, the organisation will be launched
officially on June 12.
Speaking to this newspaper, Mr Kumar Jahgirdhar, the president of the
organisation, said, “Fathers are not visitors to get visitation
permits from courts. So the organisation aims to fight for the equal
rights of the fathers and their parents to enjoy their equal share of
love from their children and grand children.” Explaining the purpose
of this organisation, Mr Jahgirdar quoted various studies conducted in
the US which found 70 per cent of young criminals are the ones brought
up by single parents. The studies also connected issues like youth
suicides, kids running away from homes, behavioural disorders, teen
pregnancies, serial-rapists and high school dropouts to the upbringing
minus fathers.
“This shows that fathers have a greater role to play in a child’s
life. According to a proverb, a father is better than a hundred
teachers,” he claimed. Interestingly, Mr Jahgirdar was inspired to
start this organisation after he fought in the Supreme Court for his
daughter Aaruni’s custody and managed to get her custody for 110 days
a year, including during weekends and vacations. The organisation will
also look into the legal hurdles while asking for shared parenting.
Mr Gaurav Nigam, a software engineer who has claimed his four year old
son Pulkit’s custody from his ex-wife Tripthi Nigam, said: “We are
closely studying the United Nations Convention on `Rights of the
Child’ so that we can make comparisons and argue our case better.”
“One should understand how difficult it will be on the father’s part
to suddenly part with his child,” said another member of the
organisation, who didn’t want to reveal his identity. Agreeing to
this, Mr Nigam said, “I miss my kid like anything. Most laws related
to children’s custody in broken marriages are biased and pro-women.”
“We wish to bring a total revolution in the mindsets of the lawmakers
by creating awareness about the equal importance of both parents in
the life of a kid. Our organisation aims to bring in that change,” he
adds.
He said Child Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting would be a
national organisation. “We have already got 200 enquiries from various
parts of India including from Hyderabad and other places. Even some
non-resident Indians too have shown interest in joining us,” he added.
Contact CRISP on 080-25593 848.
IT’S FATHERS VS MOTHER
Bengaluru, June 8: Are fathers capable of taking care of their kids
alone, even if it is in case of shared parenting for a short while?
Going by the expert advice, yes, both the parents are equally
competent of taking care of their kids, but not in the Indian set up.
Dr. Vidhya Raghudutt, a psychologist, says, “As per the culture and
tradition in India, women have learnt to manage both the home and
office and they are more capable of taking care of their children.”
However, she was quick to add that the trend is changing. On the role
parents play in a child’s life, she says, “Parents are the role models
to their children. Daughters wish to enjoy the affection of their
father and from the age of 7 to 9, they try to win the attention of
father by fighting with their mothers and later, they will inculcate
the qualities of mother to impress their fathers.”
So, father is a hero to them, she says. “This is called Electra
complex and the contra is true with sons, which is called Oedipus
complex. So later in their life, daughters relate their relationships
with men to their fathers, and sons relate their association with
women to their mothers,” says Dr Vidhya. Having no parents or single
parents is accepted. But having parents and the families as empty
shells are not good enough. If the children are not getting love and
care, it will affect the personality of the child, she added.
Another psychologist Alikhwaja says, “It is very difficult for a
father to bring up the kids all alone. Older and college going
children are exceptions. In the changing times, even this may change
with time.” Quoting the Section 6 of Hindu Minority and Gaurdianship
Act, advocate Krishna Kumar said the child should be with the mother
when he or she is below the age of 5, if they are healthy enough to
take care of the kid. The Gaurdian and Wards Act says the husbands
can claim for their child’s custody.
SINGLE FATHERS FORM NEW FORUM
Bengaluru June 14: It was all for their share of love from their
beloved children! It’s Fathers Day on Sunday. Time for fathers and
their children to celebrate their relationship, the love they share.
But for some fathers it is a painful experience as they are permitted
to visit their children only on a designated day and time. They do
get the chance to watch their children grow or even cuddle them when
they feel like. Tears rolled down Rakesh Kapur’s cheeks when he said,
“Tishya, my baby girl was just three-and-a-half months-old when I and
my wife got separated. I rarely get to see my beloved daughter forget
about pampering or cuddling her.”
Kapur, who is an IT professional, says “My daughter did not recognise
me when I recently met her in court”. Rakesh’s, wife Madhuri
reportedly left him after he returned from the US. She reportedly
wanted him to go back to the US, but he refused to do so. This
reportedly was the cause for her to leave him. He wore a T Shirt with
a picture of his baby, below which read, “Daddy’s little princess”.
More than 120 such fathers, which includes mostly software Engineers
and IT professionals, either divorced or separated from their wives,
raised their voice demanding shared parenting, under the aegis of
CRISP (Child Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting), on the eve of
Fathers’ Day. The organisation is being led by by Chetana Kumble’s
ex-husband, Kumar V. Jahgirdhar.
They held placards with pictures of their children and wore T-Shirts
which read, “I believe in Shared Parenting”. More than 20 fathers who
are fighting for their child’s custody in courts in various places
including Mysore, Delhi, Hyderabad and Chennai, made their way to
participate in the protest which went on from 10 am to 12.30 pm.
Sharing his experience another software engineer, Ritesh Saxena said:
“I have the visiting rights for my six-and-a-half-year-old son Anish
for an hour. It is Fathers’ Day tomorrow. But I must celebrate it
today as I am meeting him today.”
Parental Abduction is Child Abuse 