Category Archives: fatherless society

Indian SC shows its lack of understanding child welfare once again

Indian SC asks a 7 yr. old minor who has been fatherless for over an year and likely being brainwashed if she wants to stay with mother or father to decide custody. Is this OUTRAGEOUS or what? In the process the SC overturned both US and Calcutta HC orders. WAY TO GO SC…!!!!!!!!!

Does the judiciary realize that putting a child in a situation where she has to choose between her parents is insane?

Does the judiciary realize that children too have survival instincts and in cases of parental alienation will always do whatever it takes to please the alienating parent even if that means deriding/abusing/abhorring the left behind parent?

Does the judiciary realize that its prime goal is to rule keeping in mind the welfare of the child and that children are not always the best judge of their welfare, especially minors and alienated children?

READ THE ARTICLE HERE

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When Mommy wants her Children, it is different

WOW is all i could say when i read this case. Father detains children in India, Mommy comes back to US and files a habeaus corpus petition in Kerala HC. Kerala HC orders father to return US citizen children to Mom in Texas until a court in Texas rules on custody because Texas is the right jurisdiction. WOW is all I can say….WHY

Reverse the genders in this situation and you get my story. I too filed a Habeaus Corpus in Delhi HC which was dismissed by a vague one line order (“it does not lie here, hence dismissed”) and currently I am appealing in SC and none of the judges seem to be taking the tack that this Kerala HC judge took in this case. WHY? BECAUSE I AM DADDY, I AM A MAN!!!!!

read the Kerala HC judgement here

SUPPORT? READY FOR RELEASE TODAY

Premiere Screening today May 17th in San Diego

SUPPORT? is a film that covers the everyday issues of stress, family, struggle, and suffering that families experience when put through the detrimental, winding maneuvers of the Family Court systems, which are flooded with more cases than the labor force can handle or chooses NOT to handle.

Finally, a shocking documentary that exposes the truth! Hear what experts say about how some have figured out how to make money by emphasizing on divorce and child support issues between men and women through court orders. Parents are made to pay exorbitant amounts of money in exchange for their CREDIT, HOMES, BANK ACCOUNTS, and even their FREEDOM!

Corruption “It’s Billions of Dollars – It’s Far Beyond What The Mafia Ever Did”

Its About The Kids “Parental Suicide Does Go Up Five Times For Fit Parents That Are Removed From Their Children”

Divorce Is Ugly Business “Every County in America and Every State in America is Financially Incentivized to Ruin Families”

War Is Hell – Child Support Doesn’t Have To Be! “They (Military Reservists) go off to war and they have been paying child support based on an income they are no longer making”

Alec Baldwin, Kim Basinger: Parental Alienation Case

Many of you must have heard the nasty voice mail message that Alec Baldwin left for his daughter that was leaked to the press. Hear it below

Although this vmail can by no means be condoned the reality is that Kim Basinger has followed a systematic PARENTAL ALIENATION campaign for several years. And the reality is it becomes real hard for a father to keep up with this BS for too long and sooner or later something gives. There are several articles about Alec and Kim’s situation, read a few below from Glenn Sack’s blog

Alec’s video on the view

I defend Alec on CNN

Judge Judy opines on Baldwin

NOW scolds media for allowing Alec to talk about PA

Baldwin not the only culprit

Susan Estrich on Alec and PA

In defense of Alec

A critical analysis of state incentives and child support payments

The True Equality Network is a group of mostly women 40,000 strong who are a rational group unlike most radical feminists and are advocates of shared parenting who recognize the tremendous bias against dads in family courts. Recently Terri Lynn Tersak wrote a very informative detailed piece that details the economic motives behind child support, the motives behind how the state acts and why the states do not and never will collect child support arrearages.

There are several key messages and data in this piece that all of us should have at our fingertips to understand the real problem as opposed to getting carried away by what we see in the media or what is communicated based on cursory analyses.

read the full article here

The Federal incentives under the failed “Child Support Incentive and Performance Act” (CSPIA) actually pays the states more money not to collect child support arrearages than it does for collecting them and that most of the people screaming about the problems with child support are missing the most critical point; the fighting is all about the money, not about our children.

SOME KEY FACTOIDS

1)      The US Census Bureau reports that 90% of fathers with joint custody, 79.1% of fathers with visitation rights, and 44.5% of father with no visitation rights pay their child support in full.

2)      Parents who are wrongly denied visitation with children don’t pay child support regardless of the enforcement actions taken over 60% of the time.

3)      Less than 5% of male child support obligors who legitimately qualify for federally required downward modifications in their child support orders are granted reductions.

4)      The US Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) Office of Child Support Enforcement (OCSE) reports that 70% of all outstanding child support arrearages are owed by obligors’ earring less than $10,000.00 per year. Most of the arrearages from this group remain unpaid after ten years.

5)      DHHS-OCSE reports that approximately 5% of all outstanding child support arrearages are owed by obligors earning over $40,000.00 per year and 100% of the arrearages owed by this group are paid within ten years.

6)      US Census Bureau figures show only 57 percent of moms and 68 percent of dads required to pay child support pay all they owe.

7)      The most effective and cost effect method of child support enforcement is enforcement of custody and visitation orders.

8 )      The most common method of wrongly reducing a parent’s time with their children is through false claims of abuse.

9)      Since 1999, every state has cut state level funding for child support enforcement by as much as 32%.

10)   False claims of abuse are so pervasive our states have started passing laws making it a criminal act to do so (The sad thing is; filing false claims of abuse is perjury and perjury has always been a crime).

One of the sources of income for the state is the “incentive payment pool”. However, a states share of the pie is much higher if the administrative costs of collecting child support is lower i.e. the states are incented based on their cost effectiveness of collecting child support payments. Hence the popularity of wage garnishment since it keeps administrative costs low, thereby increasing effectiveness, thereby increasing a state’s share of the incentive pool.

As you go down the income range of obligors, each state hits a break point where they make more money not collecting an arrearage as they would collecting. Moreover, at the bottom of the scale, they can actually loose incentive monies by collecting these accounts.

The third “class” of child support monies is called, “Collected, undistributed.” That means the states actually collected the money, but did not pay it to the parent who was expecting it. This collective amount of collected but not distributed child support payments in every state is not a trivial amount. The states will tell you they have no idea where these parents are. They tell the parents expecting the money, it wasn’t paid by obligor and it sits in interest bearing accounts and the states get to keep the interest. How do they make this work? Because fighting parents do not speak with each other and get their information from the state.

The parents who need the child support the most get the least amount of service, so our welfare reform is not replacing public assistance, it simply abandoned the neediest and their children.

Today, the American male is taught to believe that violent behavior by women is “comical” and that pusillanimous submission to violent women means you are “sensitive” and therefore worthy of being with a woman. While at the same time any type of violent behavior on the part of a man requires they receive “social retraining” and/or are incarcerated.

In order for the states to get the biggest piece of the big pie as they can, they need a lot of child support to be collected. To that end, they need a lot of child support on their books. So, they must generate the maximum amount of child support per case and being that their budgets depend on those incentives, they have to find a way to maintain those levels in as many cases as they can.

Based solely on ideology and government-funded, industry promoted propaganda, today the generally accepted perception is that only men are abusive in intimate relations and only women are abused. Only men fail to pay child support and only women suffer from the system. The long established facts clearly demonstrated by hundreds of peer-reviewed research studies show that none of this is true. Yet radical ideologues demand ever more draconian intervention with total disregard for due process and the rule of law. There is no effective oversight of what the funding is really spent on; and that the present system not only fails to serve, but abuses the abused. Yet zealots demand more of the same and ever more government funding. This is a classic approach of bureaucracies. If the current approach does not work, the obvious solutions are to throw more money at the problems and hire more bureaucrats to promote the party line.

Jahgirdar, Kumble and their wife: Is anyone thinking about the little girl?

Many have seen this case in the media over the years and followed it. However we may not have looked at it in its entirety

This case fascinates me because it seems to be a classic example of the stupidity of parents (in this case it seems the stupidity was initiated by the mom) who cannot rise above the pettiness of their squibbles over the child in the best interests of the child. It is also an example where the parents started out very rationally and logically but then things went downhill from there. This case is also a classic example where the child was a football, treated as such not only by the parents but also by the courts. It also seems to be an example where as far as custody of daughter is concerned, a woman does not need to resort to false allegations, helping daughter grow up during puberty is enough. Finally i think this case clearly shows that parents should not expect the courts to sort out their family problems for them but try their best to work out solutions themselves. Unfortunately divorce destroys the mind of both parents and they cannot talk and reason rationally with each other any more. This case also shows that Indian courts and law do not give two hoots about joint custody, the LAWS NEED TO CHANGE. In this particular case an order of joint custody was challenged and overturned in a very short period of time and this violation of justice never came up in any of the SC proceedings at all.

I have attached the relevant judgements here but here is a summary that proves my above points

1. Marriage dissolved by mutual consent in 1999

2. Both parents agree to be joint guardians and custodians with child shifting alternate weeks between both parents — STARTED OUT REALLY WELL, NO FALSE ALLEGATIONS

3. Mommy soon after marries Anil Kumble and starts filing in family court for permanent custody and for taking child abroad, possibly for cricket matches — WHAT HAPPENED, AGREES IN APRIL 1999 FOR JOINT AND IN A FEW MONTHS FILES FOR PERMANENT CUSTODY??

4. Family court agrees for child being taken abroad with certain conditions but does not change custody decree

5. Mom challenges family court order in HC who gives custody for one year to mom and visitation to Dad Jahgirdar–THIS IS WHEN THINGS START GOING DOWNHILL…..DID THE HC REALIZE THE IMPLICATIONS OF MODIFYING THE CUSTODY ORDER ON DAD?

6. Jahgirdar and mom each file for sole custody in family court and appeals HC order in Supreme court

7. In April 2001, SC decides not to overturn HC judgement, orders family court to decide expeditiously in 4 months and orders family court to not be influenced by the HC order which SC was not convinced was in the best interests of the child–IF SO WHY DID SC NOT OVERTURN IT, DOES IT EXPECT THE FAMILY COURT TO OVERTURN THE JUDGEMENT OF A HIGHER COURT?? DOES NOT MAKE SENSE

8. Family court in April 2002 gives custody to dad and visitation rights to mommy

9. In dec 2002 HC on appeal by mom gave custody to mom and visitation rights to dad

10. Dad appealed in SC again, In Jan 2004, SC did not overrule HC and felt that since child was near puberty being with mom was best. It however said that when mommy traveled abroad, child should stay with father.

11. Since then father has been fighting for custody in family courts.

12. In 2007 something happened during a visitation which led to the daughter filing a police complaint against the dad Jahgirdar (dad claims it is a false complaint) apprehending a threat to her life. read the news article here

13. Further the wife got a stay from the HC against permanent custody proceedings initiated by father in family court on the grounds of this being a mischevious application designed to disturb custody of the child. read the news article here

SO WHERE WILL THIS END UP? WHO KNOWS? BUT SOON THE DAUGHTER WILL BE 18 WHEN SHE CAN DECIDE HOW HER LIFE SHOULD PROCEED. AFTER ALL SHE HAS BEEN EMBROILED IN THIS BULLSHIT BETWEEN HER PARENTS SINCE SHE WAS 6 YRS. OLD AND PERSONALLY I WOULD NOT BLAME HER IF SHE DECIDES TO KICK BOTH HER PARENTS TO THE CURB AND HEAD OFF ON HER OWN.

READ THE 2001 SC JUDGEMENT HERE

READ THE 2004 SC JUDGEMENT HERE

Daddy Songs

I’d been hearing the song “Memphis, Tennessee” by Elvis Presley, Chuck Berry and others for decades without ever realizing what Berry, the song’s author, was talking about. It’s actually a divorced dad song about a father’s severed relationship with his 6-year-old girl, Marie.

Lyrics here

Country singer Doug Supernaw’s “I Don’t Call Him Daddy” is a moving song about an economically strained divorced dad trying to maintain his relationship with his little son. The ending is bittersweet.

Lyrics here

Sting’s “I’m so happy i can’t stop crying” shows how painful a routine divorce is for so many fathers

Lyrics here

Toby Keith’s Who’s That Man? is one of the most powerful songs about divorced dads ever written

Lyrics here

I love the last lines of country singer Tim McGraw’s song “Grown Men Don’t Cry.”

Lyrics here

Another is his 2006 song My Little Girl. McGraw has three young daughters. As I’m sure is true for many of you, McGraw’s lyrics above are pretty much a perfect description of my relationship with my little daughter. “You’ve had me wrapped around your finger since the day you were born”–yup, that’s about it.

Lyrics here

In his 2004 song Do You Want Fries With That?, McGraw sympathetically examines the raw deal given many divorced fathers. 

Lyrics here

Country singer Craig Morgan has a powerful song about a post-divorce move-away called Every Friday Afternoon. It captures the way the move-away is often a devastating blow to the post-divorce father-child relationship.

Lyrics Here

Watch video here

Another good divorced dad song is Trace Adkins’ I’m Tryin’-. Shows the hardship of dads and their treatment as a free ATM machine

Lyrics here