Category Archives: divorce

Daddy Songs

I’d been hearing the song “Memphis, Tennessee” by Elvis Presley, Chuck Berry and others for decades without ever realizing what Berry, the song’s author, was talking about. It’s actually a divorced dad song about a father’s severed relationship with his 6-year-old girl, Marie.

Lyrics here

Country singer Doug Supernaw’s “I Don’t Call Him Daddy” is a moving song about an economically strained divorced dad trying to maintain his relationship with his little son. The ending is bittersweet.

Lyrics here

Sting’s “I’m so happy i can’t stop crying” shows how painful a routine divorce is for so many fathers

Lyrics here

Toby Keith’s Who’s That Man? is one of the most powerful songs about divorced dads ever written

Lyrics here

I love the last lines of country singer Tim McGraw’s song “Grown Men Don’t Cry.”

Lyrics here

Another is his 2006 song My Little Girl. McGraw has three young daughters. As I’m sure is true for many of you, McGraw’s lyrics above are pretty much a perfect description of my relationship with my little daughter. “You’ve had me wrapped around your finger since the day you were born”–yup, that’s about it.

Lyrics here

In his 2004 song Do You Want Fries With That?, McGraw sympathetically examines the raw deal given many divorced fathers. 

Lyrics here

Country singer Craig Morgan has a powerful song about a post-divorce move-away called Every Friday Afternoon. It captures the way the move-away is often a devastating blow to the post-divorce father-child relationship.

Lyrics Here

Watch video here

Another good divorced dad song is Trace Adkins’ I’m Tryin’-. Shows the hardship of dads and their treatment as a free ATM machine

Lyrics here

It Has Happened All Over Again

A few weeks ago, I blogged about an oped article in the Washington Post, where David Levy, CEO of the Children’s Rights Council advocates the presumption of joint custody and posits that “sole-custody court battles often drive mothers and fathers, pardon the expression, “nuts,”.

Again in a bitter contested divorce and custody case where the custody was granted to the mom, and subsequently mom disappeared leaving the children behind, the dad (a Linux visionary) after a six month trial has been found guilty of murder (no body, no crime scene, no reliable eyewitnesses, and virtually no physical evidence).

We will probably never know what really happened, but would things have been different if joint custody had been granted?????

READ THE STORY HERE

The story on 20/20 (three videos follow)

 

Fighting Misandry in India

Delhi Police Commissioner: No 498A Arrests W/O Permission Of DCP

The Final Report Of Film Actor Prashanth’s 498A Case (pdf is at the end)

A Guide To Surviving IPC 498A

SC Clarifies Sections 406 And 498A – 2007

AP HC Acknowledges The Abuse Of 498A – 2007  —

Justice Dhingra Clarifies Issues Of Jurisdiction In An NRI 498A Case- Jan 20

SC Explains The Applicability Of Section 498A In A Judgment – 2002

Hyderabad Police: No Arrest In 498A Cases Without Permission Of DCP – 2002

Men Wail on Renuka’s shoulders

E-plaint lands NRI hubby behind bars

Harassed husbands?

Law with flaw

In India Feminist laws have harassed women as well

Police circular in Delhi–watch below

Leverage YOU TUBE in your fight for JUSTICE

About two weeks ago, former playwright and actress Tricia Walsh-Smith expressed her frustrations with her current divorce proceedings in (or on) a very public place — Ranting about her husband Philip Smith, Walsh-Smith alternated between pleas for mercy, cries of idiocy, and bouts of petty mud-slinging. Today, she actually heads to divorce court and, in preparation for that, has posted another bonkers video for all to see.
Although I usually do not blog stuff unless it is somehow related to parents and children, and I am not sure whether this socialite has really been duped, or if she is just venting, but i thought i would post her 2 videos to show the power of YOU TUBE and a little bit of drama in getting your message out if you have been/feel you have been screwed.

Dads Need to Be Vigilant, No one else will help you

Why is it always assumed that the mother is best for the child? There are so many cases, so many stats that children living with single mother are exposed to many more abuses, even more so when the mother gets a new boyfriend. But the courts care two hoots about this….their presumption is that “child is with mom, so should be OK”.  In a scenario like this it is absolutely essential that dads cannot make the same assumption, they need to hound the mom and have access to their kids, that would be the only way to prevent the complete destruction of the child.

The case is yet another example of anti-father family court bias, the utter lack of respect with which the father-child bond is treated, and how some mothers are able to get away with whatever they want regarding kids and child custody. If the system were fairer, if the system cared about Damion Peterson’s loving bonds with his son, the boy would still be alive today.

Outrageous Case: Military Dad’s Kid Abducted by Mom, then Abused & Murdered–but Dad Doesn’t Find out His Boy Is Dead Until a Year Later

 

Monetary Incentives needed to protect Family

Father-absence associated with divorce and sole maternal custody, is the primary predictor of a host of societal ills affecting and destroying children (tons of data in support of this in attached article). In some countries like the US, evidence has shown that monetary incentives provided by the federal government to the states has worked when it comes to ensuring child support payments. Unfortunately, this system has led to the creation of the divorce industry, where a whole host of governmental organisations and NGO’s work hand in hand to get a piece of the pie, paying little heed to the fact that they are destroying society by their high handedness.

What is needed is to use the same idea to promote and incentivize other desired behaviors like visitation by fathers, promotion of marriages, promotion of father involvement, presumption of joint custody.

If this is really all about the children, then a father’s wallet can no longer be a substitute for his presence.

STATEMENT 1 BY BILL WOOD AND JAY GELL TO THE HOUSE WAYS AND MEANS COMMITTEE

STATEMENT 2 BY BILL WOOD TO THE HOUSE WAYS AND MEANS COMMITTEE

Single Moms? Single Dads? NO we need SHARED PARENTING

Despite the challenges, PARENTING is a responsibility more and more men are today willing to shoulder. In fact, even adoptions by single men are on the rise and it is indeed heartening to see men ready to take on the role of the nurturer.

READ FULL ARTICLE HERE

State Sponsored Child Abuse Results in a Fatherless Society

I cannot even say the words. A huge emptiness would well in my stomach, a deep loathing for those who would deign to tell me they would ALLOW me ACCESS to my children — those I loved above all, those I created, those who gave meaning to everything I did, those that were the very best of us two and the absolute physical manifestation of our once blinding love. Who the fuck are they that they should ALLOW anything? REASONABLE CONTACT!!! Is the law mad? Am I a criminal? An ABSENT parent. A RESIDENT/NON-RESIDENT parent. This Lawspeak which you all speak so fluently, so unthinkingly, so hurtfully, must go.–BOB GELDOF

5 heart wrenching videos by BOB GELDOF (well worth the time to watch them)

 

The law must know it is contributing to the problem. It is creating vast wells of misery, massive discontent, an unstable society of feral children and reckless adolescents who have no understanding of authority or ultimate sanction, no knowledge of a man’s love and how it is different but equal to a woman’s, irresponsible mothers, drifting, hopeless fathers, problem and violent ill-educated sons and daughters, a disconnect from the extended family and society at large, vast swathes of cynicism and repeat pattern behaviour in subsequent adult relationships.– BOB GELDOF

 

Presumption of Joint Custody

INDIA has no laws around joint custody. In the US only Thirty-five states plus the District of Columbia have statutes that explicitly authorize joint custody as a presumption or strong preference. READ THE STATUTES HERE

In the following oped article in the Washington Post, David Levy, CEO of the Children’s Rights Council advocates the presumption of joint custody and posits that “sole-custody court battles often drive mothers and fathers, pardon the expression, “nuts,” especially if they were mentally challenged to begin with. And violence can’t be predicted scientifically”. He uses the example of Mark Castillo who killed his three children as an example of what may happen when parents are driven “nuts”

In response to this, Joan Meier, executive director of the Domestic Violence Legal Empowerment and Appeals Project at George Washington University Law School responds in another oped piece in the Washington Post, uses this extreme example to make some unsubstantiated points like

  • “Mothers rarely fabricate or exaggerate the dangers they see”.
  • “Bitter custody disputes” do not arise in a vacuum — most arise in the context of mothers seeking to end abuse or protect their children.
  • “acting normal” with an abuser can be a survival strategy
  • Contrary to stereotypes, most divorcing mothers do not seek to deprive the children of their father.
  • Men who abuse their partners often pose a threat to their children. Most women seeking to restrict fathers’ access to their children are doing so out of legitimate fear for their well-being.
  • And too many children are delivered to dangerous fathers by family courts that prioritize fathers’ “rights” over children’s safety.

Really Joan???. Help me understand the following two data points in that case (data from the US Dept of Health and Human Services)

Mothers are more than twice as likely as fathers to abuse their children

Mothers are more than twice as likely as fathers to kill their children

Who’s Oppressing Who?

Read a very insightful analysis of current day feminism by Barbara Kay

Barbara draws interesting parallels between anti-Semitism and feminism. A scapegoating ideology always ends in grievance-collecting and a conspiracy theory of history. Just like virtually all Arab and many other Muslim nations rely on Jew hatred to externalize an explanation for their own failures, so do feminists rely on men to explain their own failures. It works very well. The world has not seen such a widespread and virulent strain of anti-Semitism dominating an entire region since the Nazi era.

As a result of feminists’ promotion of career equity with men and unrestrained sexual experimentation over early and faithful commitment, women are having fewer children later, and many are having none. Consequently, birthrates are down in all western countries, in many below the replacement levels.

When angry feminists adduce their mantra that only men are inherently violent and that women use violence only in self-defense, I bring up a theme that is forbidden to discussion in women’s shelters: how is it then that partner violence amongst lesbians is significantly higher than amongst heterosexual partnerships?

  • Supreme Court of Canada chief justice Beverley McLachlin: “We have to be pro-active in rearranging the Canadian family”
  • Former justice minister Martin Cauchon: “Men have no rights, only responsibilities”
  • Feminist psychologist Peter Jaffe, a social-context educator of family court judges: “[J]oint custody is an attempt of males to continue dominance over females”
  • And most egregiously this from the National Association of Women and the Law: “Courts may treat parents unequally and deny them basic civil liberties and rights, as long as their motives are good”.

Misandry in family law arises from an ideology that views children as the property of women, even though many peer-reviewed studies show children want and need both parents, and no studies show sole parenting by a mother serves children’s best interests. This ideology is instilled in judges during training sessions featuring feminism-driven materials, and subsequently often plays out as unaccountable kangaroo courts.

Is it then a suprise that paternity fraud is worth nothing? (READ HERE)

There is a Yiddish expression my mother used to invoke with a philosophical sigh, “der reidele dreht sich” – the wheel turns. A hundred years ago, it was homosexual love that dared not speak its name. Today homosexual love roars, and it is manliness that whispers in the shadows.