Dads Need to Be Vigilant, No one else will help you

Why is it always assumed that the mother is best for the child? There are so many cases, so many stats that children living with single mother are exposed to many more abuses, even more so when the mother gets a new boyfriend. But the courts care two hoots about this….their presumption is that “child is with mom, so should be OK”.  In a scenario like this it is absolutely essential that dads cannot make the same assumption, they need to hound the mom and have access to their kids, that would be the only way to prevent the complete destruction of the child.

The case is yet another example of anti-father family court bias, the utter lack of respect with which the father-child bond is treated, and how some mothers are able to get away with whatever they want regarding kids and child custody. If the system were fairer, if the system cared about Damion Peterson’s loving bonds with his son, the boy would still be alive today.

Outrageous Case: Military Dad’s Kid Abducted by Mom, then Abused & Murdered–but Dad Doesn’t Find out His Boy Is Dead Until a Year Later

 

Monetary Incentives needed to protect Family

Father-absence associated with divorce and sole maternal custody, is the primary predictor of a host of societal ills affecting and destroying children (tons of data in support of this in attached article). In some countries like the US, evidence has shown that monetary incentives provided by the federal government to the states has worked when it comes to ensuring child support payments. Unfortunately, this system has led to the creation of the divorce industry, where a whole host of governmental organisations and NGO’s work hand in hand to get a piece of the pie, paying little heed to the fact that they are destroying society by their high handedness.

What is needed is to use the same idea to promote and incentivize other desired behaviors like visitation by fathers, promotion of marriages, promotion of father involvement, presumption of joint custody.

If this is really all about the children, then a father’s wallet can no longer be a substitute for his presence.

STATEMENT 1 BY BILL WOOD AND JAY GELL TO THE HOUSE WAYS AND MEANS COMMITTEE

STATEMENT 2 BY BILL WOOD TO THE HOUSE WAYS AND MEANS COMMITTEE

State Sponsored Child Abuse Results in a Fatherless Society

I cannot even say the words. A huge emptiness would well in my stomach, a deep loathing for those who would deign to tell me they would ALLOW me ACCESS to my children — those I loved above all, those I created, those who gave meaning to everything I did, those that were the very best of us two and the absolute physical manifestation of our once blinding love. Who the fuck are they that they should ALLOW anything? REASONABLE CONTACT!!! Is the law mad? Am I a criminal? An ABSENT parent. A RESIDENT/NON-RESIDENT parent. This Lawspeak which you all speak so fluently, so unthinkingly, so hurtfully, must go.–BOB GELDOF

5 heart wrenching videos by BOB GELDOF (well worth the time to watch them)

 

The law must know it is contributing to the problem. It is creating vast wells of misery, massive discontent, an unstable society of feral children and reckless adolescents who have no understanding of authority or ultimate sanction, no knowledge of a man’s love and how it is different but equal to a woman’s, irresponsible mothers, drifting, hopeless fathers, problem and violent ill-educated sons and daughters, a disconnect from the extended family and society at large, vast swathes of cynicism and repeat pattern behaviour in subsequent adult relationships.– BOB GELDOF

 

Presumption of Joint Custody

INDIA has no laws around joint custody. In the US only Thirty-five states plus the District of Columbia have statutes that explicitly authorize joint custody as a presumption or strong preference. READ THE STATUTES HERE

In the following oped article in the Washington Post, David Levy, CEO of the Children’s Rights Council advocates the presumption of joint custody and posits that “sole-custody court battles often drive mothers and fathers, pardon the expression, “nuts,” especially if they were mentally challenged to begin with. And violence can’t be predicted scientifically”. He uses the example of Mark Castillo who killed his three children as an example of what may happen when parents are driven “nuts”

In response to this, Joan Meier, executive director of the Domestic Violence Legal Empowerment and Appeals Project at George Washington University Law School responds in another oped piece in the Washington Post, uses this extreme example to make some unsubstantiated points like

• “Mothers rarely fabricate or exaggerate the dangers they see”.
• “Bitter custody disputes” do not arise in a vacuum — most arise in the context of mothers seeking to end abuse or protect their children.
• “acting normal” with an abuser can be a survival strategy
• Contrary to stereotypes, most divorcing mothers do not seek to deprive the children of their father.
• Men who abuse their partners often pose a threat to their children. Most women seeking to restrict fathers’ access to their children are doing so out of legitimate fear for their well-being.
• And too many children are delivered to dangerous fathers by family courts that prioritize fathers’ “rights” over children’s safety.

Really Joan???. Help me understand the following two data points in that case (data from the US Dept of Health and Human Services)

Mothers are more than twice as likely as fathers to abuse their children

Mothers are more than twice as likely as fathers to kill their children

Everyone Forgot About the Boys in Texas

Recent news reports about a Texas polygamist compound highlight the abuse of underage girls by compelling them to marry men two or three times their age under threat of excommunication.

But very little attention has been paid to the abuse and neglect of the boys. Even those as young as 13 are frequently expelled from the compound and forced to fend for themselves without education, friends, or adult guidance.

The New York Times article estimated that 500 to 1,000 boys had been expelled from one Utah compound alone over the past six years, out of a total compound population of about 10,000 — meaning that a large percentage of the boys had been expelled.

READ THE FULL ARTICLE HERE

How on Earth Can Moms Do this???

PBS Declares War on Dads By Jeffery M. Leving and Glenn Sacks

“Daddy!” “Princess!” “I miss you daddy!” “I miss you too, princess. Daddy loves his little girl.” “I love you too, daddy” “How’s my smart little kindergarten girl?” “I want to see you, daddy, I want you to come over, couldn’t you come over soon? I want….” The phone is wrenched away. “This conversation is OVER!” Dad hears the phone slammed down on the receiver. Almost. “How DARE you talk to that man!” The phone must have hit the receiver off center. The line is still open. “How DARE you do that to me!” The little girl begins to cry. “I just wanted to talk to daddy.” “How DARE you!” “I miss daddy!” “Damn you….”

CLICK HERE TO READ THE ENTIRE STORY…

The Divorced Dad Volcano

“With Columbine and Virginia Tech, we asked “Why?” implying a collective responsibility for the male-style suicides shouting to be heard as massacres. Perhaps, if we ask “Why?” of Alec Baldwin with equal openness, we can understand the divorced dad volcano and defuse potential suicide-homicides that are not uncommon among divorced dads”—Warren Farrell, Ph.D

Surprisingly, if shared parenting is impossible, the children are likely to do better when the primary parent is dad.

Glynnis Walker’s research found children of divorce almost five times as likely to say “only mom says bad things about dad” than vice versa
CLICK HERE TO READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE

Mothers Don’t Abuse Children? Give me a BREAK!!!

They were locked in a dingy room without food for days together. Help came when one of the three Austrian siblings mustered enough courage to send a mail to the Austrian Embassy in Delhi narrating their plight in an alien country. It took two days for the Kerala Police to locate and rescue the children, David (15), Sultan (13) and Jasmin (10), abandoned by their Austrian mother in the central Kerala town of Kottayam.

CLICK TO READ FULL STORY

Parental Alienation isOpen Heart Surgery:It Needs More Than a Band-Aid to Fix It

. . . [O]ur children will resemble our own misery and spite and anger, because
we give them no choice about it. In the name of motherhood and fatherhood
. . . we threaten and suffocate and bind and ensnare and bribe and trick
children into wholesale emulation of our ways.–June Jordan [FN1]

I’m Sarah and I’m six. I’m crying–and that makes me feel funny. Daddy and Mommy
are talking about me, and they’re both mad. I don’t think they’re mad at me,
 but they yell a lot since the divorce–whatever that is. Daddy says Mommy is
bad, she spends too much money, doesn’t feed me the right food, has bad
friends, and other things. I don’t understand what he means. Sometimes he
says Mommy is a bad person and I should stay with him instead. Mommy
says things like that about Daddy, too. Or, sometimes she makes faces at
him and laughs. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
CLICK TO READ FULL ARTICLE

Parental Child Abduction is Child Abuse

“As adults, many victims of bitter custody battles who had been permanently removed from a target parent, whisked away to a new town and given a new identity, still long to be reunited with the lost parent. The loss cannot be undone. Childhood cannot be recaptured. Gone forever is that sense of history, intimacy, lost input of values and morals, self-awareness through knowing one’s beginnings, love, contact with extended family, and much more. Virtually no child possesses the ability to protect him- or herself against such an undignified and total loss”

Although there is extensive evidence that parental abduction is child abuse of the worst kind (CLICK TO READ MORE), the authorities do not get it. It is because young children are silent sufferers who do not know how to raise their voices and scream that their rights are being violated.